Pastor H. Gene Allen

On June 29, 2009,

Maria and I celebrated 25 years of marriage and it has been an amazing experience; perhaps, more like an “Amazing Grace” experience.

We married very young. I don’t recommend that, and I’m certainly glad our children didn’t follow in our footsteps.

Maria was sixteen and I was eighteen. We were in love, maybe “puppy love” at first, but by the time we were engaged and then married, we were truly in love.  I remember the first time I saw her – Have Mercy! She was a beautiful sight, and she is still the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. If there is such a thing as a soul mate, she is mine. She is the person I believe that God gave me for a lifetime of matrimony. Yet with all that said we probably should have waited to get married. And though there is no doubt in my mind that we were in love, looking back, we were just too young to be married and really didn’t understand what the act of marriage entailed. Well, I take that back; we understood one thing!

One problem we had early on was that neither of us knew how to be married. Now, at sixteen and eighteen, who does right? Well, we had NO idea. Maria’s dad abandoned her family when she was 9 years old. Because her dad wasn’t in the home, she doesn’t remember seeing her mom be a wife. This role of “wife” was not modeled before her. My dad was a cross-country truck driver and was on the road most of the time. When he was home, he wasn’t very affectionate to neither my mom nor his children. He left our family, and my parents divorced when I was 13 years old. Because my dad was pretty much out of the picture most of my childhood, the role of “husband” was not appropriately modeled before me. I didn’t know how to be a husband to Maria, and she didn’t know how to be a wife to me. So Maria and I came together young, immature and knowing very little about the roles we were supposed to be living out.

I’ve said jokingly that Maria and I have been happily married 15 years; married 25 years, but happily married 15 years. Well that is not exactly true, but we have had some major difficulties over the years. We have hurt each other probably every way a couple can possibly hurt each other. There have been some very hard days, weeks, months; and we have even had some bad years. There have been those days that we have contemplated divorce; some days, murder! And yet, we are still together.

I believe that our marriage is a picture of grace. It is what grace looks like. On those days that we did not feel in love, when there we no funny fuzzes in our tummies, when we couldn’t stand the sight of each other; during those times that we didn’t like each other, we made a choice to stay together and keep loving each another. Was this easy? Not at all! Many days it was brutal. But we stayed, and worked, and pushed, and pulled until one day was a little smoother than the last, and finally we got to the other side of the conflict. Honestly, we still occasionally have tough days, but we know we love each other and that our marriage is worth working on. And that is a major key to a successful marriage, working on it every day to make it the very best it can be.

Love is a decision, not a feeling. Love is a commitment that we choose to make and keep every day. I don’t always feel like I am in love, but I know I love Maria. I’ve decided to love her no matter what.

Today I love Maria more than I have ever loved her and I know that she loves me. Yes, we have made a lot of mistakes and have hurt each other in horrific ways, but God’s grace has been sufficient to see us through each situation. In those times of hurt and disappointment, we have had to learn to repent, forgive and move on. And it has only happened by the grace of God.

It’s not always easy; it can be very hard work, but I hope you will decide to love.

Proverbs 5:15-19

15 Do you know the saying, “Drink from your own rain barrel, draw water from your own spring-fed well”? 16 It’s true. Otherwise, you may one day come home and find your barrel empty and your well polluted. 17 Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. 18 Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! 19 Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose — don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! (THE MESSAGE)

Hello Friends:

Excuses First.

First, let me apologize for not blogging more frequently. It has been a crazy three weeks. The following is why I haven’t been better about blogging in the recent past.

Three weeks ago, I had members in hospital and a funeral on Friday. I flew out on a Saturday to Michigan for a Writer’s Conference; was gone a week and had absolutely no time to blog during that conference which had sessions morning, afternoon and night. I came back home to more folks in hospital, then the internet on our church campus went down for about a week. This week has been more hospital time, surgeries, a death and a funeral. During this time, however, I have been keeping notes and do have some information to share. I hope to get it out soon.

Today is Saturday, July 4th, and I finally have some time that I hope I can fill with writing. I actually hope to post at least one other blog this afternoon.

Independence Day!

I was raised to be patriotic; my parents made certain that my sister and I had a clear understanding of our American blessing. My Grandfather Dodd was a career military man. My Dad served in both the Army and Marines. I have a host of other family members who were soldiers. I absolutely understand and appreciate my freedoms as an American citizen. I love Lee Greenwood’s song and would like to quote the chorus for you here today. I suppose it sums up my feelings about this grand Independence Day.

And I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I’d gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A. 

I sign off now with this quote from our beloved President Ronald Reagan. “Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom, and then lost it, have never known it again.”

Thank you for following along with me. Have a great Fourth of July weekend.

God bless you and may God bless America!

Pastor Gene